News Eyes

For my first political self portrait for this month's SelfPortraitChallenge I'm trying to illustrate my angst and worry about Hillary Clinton getting the nomination or not getting the nomination. I am showing the furrowed brow, the long distance eyes, and the bags and dark circles, all part of the package. I could show my fingers on the keyboard as I go from political blog to political blog, soaking in all the news. Or my ears listening to NPR as all the posturing and analyzing goes on. On Tuesday the headline in the San Jose Mercury News read: "Is this Clinton's Last Day?" and then on Wednesday after the Ohio and Texas primaries it read: "Still Alive".

I'll be honest. I go back and forth several times a day. These two candidates are virtually identical on the issues (neither is progressive enough for me, but I'm over that) and one of them must win if our country is to start turning away from the edge of the cliff we're hurtling towards.

First I'm wanting so badly to have someone of my generation to be president, with newer ideas, less entanglements with the past and some actual inspiration and vision for the future.

Then I think (perhaps too much, perhaps wrongly) that this might be the last time in my lifetime there is a chance for a woman to become president. I want that so badly, it is a clutching raw visceral reaction, I experience it as a racing heart and sinking stomach. This might be it. If she doesn't win, there might not be another chance for a very long time (think of how long ago Geraldine Ferraro was nominated as VP!)

I admire Hillary Clinton and despise her in equal amounts. Intellectually I know she would be a great president and knows how to play the game to get things done, but that is exactly what makes me despise her. Weird huh? But I don't see how she can actually get there, back to the White House, sitting in the big chair of power. There are so many on the other side who hate her, just plain hate her. I don't think that she could overcome that and be a president for our whole country. And that is what we need. Someone that can get more than 51% of the public on the team, pulling for the success of our country all together.

The primary season can't end soon enough for me.