Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Self Portrait Tuesday - Personal History Week Two
Since today is Tuesday, that means it is time for SPT (Self Portrait Tuesday), this month we are exploring self portraits which show your personal history.
Part of my history of course involves high school. ahem. So here I am as a sophomore, a proud new member of the Tall Flags. (yes there were short flags too two @1.5' vs. our one @6'). We performed along with the marching band, short flags, and dance squad. I had given up performing in marching band to join Tall Flags. It was ever so much cooler to be a flag versus just a band member. And I was soooo tired of lugging my saxophone case to the bus stop.
So here I am just after giving up five years of happy saxophone playing and musical competence for the chance to wear a velveteen vest and matching short skirt instead of itchy band uniform and 2' high fuzzy red band hat. We got to wear cute uniforms to school on game days, and do stuff with the real cheerleaders and football players. Kind of a coolness by association. But really, not so much cool. Membership in an official group though, which was important to me. I was part of a group in band of course, but the band hat killed my hair, and I got too sweaty in that wool uniform. I loved being in flags at the time, it was something very different than band, and I felt good when we would win at competitions.
But now as a 41 year old, I really wish I had chosen to keep playing saxophone also. I was getting good at the time, getting solos in jazz band and so on. I think the idea of individual success wasn't ok for me yet, group success yes no problem, but I was struck by teenage uncertainty and a few years away still from self-confidence. If I knew then, what I know now, I'd tell myself to keep playing in the concert band, and do the flags, that I was plenty smart enough to manage my time, and I could still get good grades.