Thankful For Leftovers

Just a little leftover paper flower from the Give Thanks banner. This one was a little wonky and looked too different from the other ones to fit in on the banner, but I couldn't throw it away or afford to send it off to the Island of Misfit Toys. So I gussied it up with some inspiring words, purple paper, glitter (natch) and a red fibery thread. I have it hanging off my thread rack right above my work table.
I'm thinking one could make some very unique and cool tree ornaments in this manner...hmmm, even with a favorite fabric you've stiffened up instead of paper.

Note, this was done before hand surgery, back when I could hold and use scissors.

The True Value of Play

"Has anyone seen Cinderella lately?"
Teeny tiny pumpkins with teeny tiny Snow White.
This seventh chapter of The Joy Diet was about Play and it was a real surprise to me.
I had pictured something more like the last chapter on Treats, but this was completely different and very useful. Getting down to what's really important in your life, answering the question "how do you want the world to be different when you're gone?" Whatever your reply is, that is what author Martha Beck calls your "real career". So then you have to realize that everything you do every day has to support the answer you give to that question. What else is there right? Just procrastination, straight-out avoidance and spending too much time in maintenance activities. "Playing the martyr by doing maintenance work that keeps you eternally away from your eagle goals may be your way of dodging the scary, exhilarating work of your real career."
Pshew, that's a big one isn't it? Well it was for me. But, now that I've got this idea down of switching between mouse view and eagle view of what I'm doing in the moment: "In Sioux Indian culture, the eagle symbolizes the ability to see distant goals and vast scenarios with great acuity. The mouse is a metaphor for the state of mind that focuses completely on the thing right in front of it, putting all its attention on exploring whatever it is with eyes, nose, whiskers, and tiny little paws"
I think it will now be easier to keep on my right path by staying loose, playful and experimenting with what works and gets me closer to what I really truly want to be doing, instead of making sure my kitchen sink is the cleanest and sparkliest ever.

The Reward of Treats

Two weeks ago I was supposed to be writing about the Treats chapter in The Joy Diet for the book blogging group The Next Chapter. But I hadn't read it yet. So I put it off until I could get to it after the busy-ness of Halloween,etc. I have to say I didn't get much out of this chapter as I have out of the other ones so far. This one is all about rewarding ourselves with treats as we take risks and make progress, at a minimum three times a day.

As I sat down and made my list of things that make me smile to help come up with some new treats, I had a hard time thinking of ones that I don't already use!

Here are some of the ones I already use:

Chocolate covered almonds which I only get to eat when I've been working in my studio,

a special tea that I can have when I've made phone calls I've been putting off

Wearing my favorite perfume even just for running errands

Buying cut flowers at the store just for having the beauty around.

None of these are earth shattering or unusual I would imagine, but I did find that I had to make an effort to remake them so that they would seem new enough to accomplish what The Joy Diet is all about.For example one of my main ones would be the treat of time to read. I already read so much already, it is such a big part of my life that I had to work hard at coming up with a way to make it a recognizably separate "treat". My solution there was to allow myself to read at times of the day when I usually would say it was a no-no, at first it felt kind of naughty curling up with a book at 10am when I'm usually in my most productive work period. But I didn't let myself read all day, and it did seem such an unusual treat to get to have that morning reading time that I did work harder before hand. Interesting how trainable we are isn't it?

I'm going to continue trying to rework the self-treating I already do in this way to keep it fresh and useful and inspiring, and hopefully that will end up training me to keep pursuing the risk taking of making new and unusual artwork, entering it in shows and pursuing other ways of getting my artwork seen.

I really liked author Martha Beck's discussion about smiling that ended with this:

"Smiling is very serious business to our bodies and hearts, and to practice this part of the Joy Diet, you must treat it with respect." No fakey smiling allowed here, only the real deal, that means something.

Risk Should Be Risky

This week's reading in The Joy Diet is all about risk, I can't wait to read what the other book bloggers at The Next Chapter have to say about this one. Challenging would be a good word to describe it. Uncomfortable, slightly terrifying and a little exhilarating. I realize how far into my shell I've climbed with reading this chapter and how much work I need to do to pull myself out and stop being a hiding snail.

When we go through the lists of what we've come up with as desires so far, and start to think about what risks are necessary to achive those desires, author Martha Beck points out that fear masquerades as many things: "anxiety, nervousness, uneasiness, outright terror. Work your creativity until you arrive at an idea that makes you shrink away, a little or a lot. The fear shows that you have reached the border of your personal comfort zone. You're about to push that border back and claim new territory in your own life, the only way you can: by taking risks."

I love that idea, that there is more territory that is available to me to claim and inhabit and use in my life. This whatever I have right now in front of and around me is not the be-all/end-all of what is possible for me, but to get to anything else, risks must be taken.

Further on in the chapter, Beck notes that "If you really put it to the test, you'll probably find that your comfort zone is arbitrary and irrational." I've never thought of that, but it definitely checks out. I could not make a coherent case to myself for why I hesitate to make this phone call, write that email or follow through with that idea. Holding myself apart and separate to prevent possible upset or disappointment just doesn't make must rational sense anymore, and I can't explain to myself why I was even doing it in the first place. Maybe that is OK, just to know that, and maybe I can now work on doing it all a little bit differently. I'll be glad to get rid of the feeling that I've tied myself up in barbed wire.

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do. - Eleanor Roosevelt"

Defining Creativity

I didn't get around to posting this last Friday, but here is my take on the latest chapter of The Joy Diet, which I'm reading together with a bunch of other book bloggers at The Next Chapter.

This one is all about Creativity and I got a lot out of it, a surprising amount really since I think I spend a lot of time and energy on creativity as an artist.

I was really impressed first of all with author Martha Beck's definition of creativity or as she puts it: The Act Of Creation : the process of realizing - making real - events, objects, or relationships that originally exist only in our imaginations. This is a really new and more inclusive way of looking at creativity for me, instead of just limiting it to what I'm doing over in my studio, but in the whole rest of my life, (a lot of which of course affects what's going on in the studio.)

But this is crucial, especially if we take to heart one of the main message of this chapter that you are always responsible for creating your life whether you like it or not. Owning up to the fact that I am inherently and completely creative day to day, minute by minute, decision to decision is both inherently empowering and very scary too. It is very easy to forget this, and just bumble along from thing to thing without ever really taking this responsibility on and working out how I feel about it.

What is that lesson that Spiderman has to learn over and over again? "With great power, comes great responsibility", well Spidey, I'm right there with you in having to learn,re-learn and learn again this ultimate truth.

The part of this chapter that really helped me turn around my thinking that I'm helpless and ineffective in changing anything, or making better decisions was the exercise of challenging and changing your dichotomous thinking. Either/Or, Black/White, One Thing or The Other.

I'll write the exercise out here so you can try it, just fill in the blanks, and I bet you'll be amazed:

My Dichotomous Life

I can either be ____ or _____.

I can either have ______ or ______.

I can either do _______ or _______.

***now using the exact same things you've written above, fill this out:

My Creative Life

I intend to be both _____ and ______.

I intend to have both _____ and _______.

I intend to do both ________ and _______.

See, it is just that easy to figure this out, both things are going to happen, so start out with the intention that yes indeedy, both are going to occur, then you don't have to fight yourself about the "bad" one happening!

That's amazing to me, it was such a d'oh moment. I hope it is useful to you too!

Nothing Into Truth

Here I am at the second week of reading The Joy Diet, along with all the others participating in the Next Chapter group, building on the practice of Nothing with the addition of Truth.
Specifically the Telling of Truth About Ourselves to Ourselves. Oh does this one ever ring a bell for me, deep down inside. All those easy pretty lies we tell ourselves in the moment can add up to a lifetime of delusion ,detachment and ultimately despair.

Of course this all comes down to one of my favorite phrases "Be Here Now", if you can be honest with yourself moment to moment, then the authentic experience of your life as you live it is filled with integrity. That integrity is what I like to feel as much as possible, it means I'm still "on the beam" or "on the right track". I know that this is something I'm always working on (I give myself the Continuous Self Improvement Award) because telling myself the truth 100% of the time isn't something I can do.

There are physical barriers that I have, where I have to on occasion, wall off part of myself to be able to survive a particularly painful cycle in the ongoing process of my condition. Luckily, the author, Martha Beck gives me a pass on this bit of self-lying: "There's nothing wrong with this; dissociation is an astonishgly useful psychological mechanism, one I've found to be lifesaving when I'm undergoing something unbearable, such as severe illness or a PTA meeting. However, it's possible to get stuck in a mental zone that offers virtually no access to genuine experience."

That's of course the key for me then, not getting stuck in the dissocation box, being able to bring myself back out to the truth as soon as I am able. This isn't always easy of course, just this past week I've been mired in the "Flu Experience", the truth of which is of course lots and lots of napping and coughing, not much else. So I wasn't able to get to the practice of questioning myself as this chapter asks us to ask ourselves after our 15 minutes of Nothing the following:

• What Am I Feeling?
• What Hurts?
• What is the painful story I'm telling?
• Can I be sure my painful story is true?
• Is my painful story working?
• Can I think of another story that might work better?

The answers this past week would have just been boring, very mundane riffs on how much my lungs hurt and why I don't like having a fever, etc.,blah,blah,blah. But now that I'm in sight of a non-flu-ridden existence I'm looking forward to quizzing myself and seeing just what Truth I am able to tell myself.

The above picture is a spooky pattern that my hose made on the deck, just after the first windstorm of fall knocked all the dead redwood leaves off the trees and the dried rose petals off the rose bush. I'm left wondering "What does this glyph signify for the month ahead?"

A Week Filled With Nothing

Well this was my first week with Nothing as one of my daily things to accomplish. As I predicted it turned out to be hard to actually do, or attempt, or schedule. But I can say that on the days that I did manage to do, think and be nothing for 15 full minutes, I felt more calm, less frazzled, more focused and dare I say happier.
As Martha Beck describes in her book, "The Joy Diet" that I'm book blogging with over the next several weeks with The Next Chapter there are a few steps you can take to get to nothing.

First is to Put Up The Privacy Sign, blocking off and blocking out interruptions for a certain time period so you know you won't be disturbed. This is the easiest step for me as I am home during the day by myself during the week. But back in the days of baby and toddlerhood, it would have been laughably impossible and I sympathize with those who find this step hard.

Second is to Let Your Body Vacate. I also find this fairly easy and I mark it up to the childbirth class practice with the Bradley method, which is all about training yourself to completely relax on command. I also have to do this on a daily basis anyways when my pain levels get too high, so I have become fairly adept at "checking out" of my body as needed.

Third is to Vacate Your Mind, as one who possesses an active squirrel mind that is always on the go and never at rest this one is the most challenging. It always has been whenever I've attempted a regular meditation practice. What is key for me is to let go of being perfect at this, and realizing before I begin that just making the attempt *this time* is what is ultimately important for me. Also, I'll note that the more I read about meditation and how to do it, the better I am getting at it myself. The more examples and techniques and practice the better, at least for me.

Beck has several techniques she shares in the book, but the best advice she offers is to realize that your only option is to "simply watch your mind do its thing, without passing any judgments on your thoughts, or trying to control the process. The act of nonjudmental observation is extremely powerful, allowing you to divide your awareness from your thoughts."

She shares a quote from writer Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj which really rang a bell for me:
"Know yourself to be the changeless witness of the changeful mind. Mind is interested in what happens, while the awareness is interested in the mind itself. The child is after the toy, but the mother watches the child not the toy."

The fourth and final step is to Learn to Return, which is meant to make it easier for one to return to the vacated body and mind state. Like leaving a bookmark or place marker that you can snap to easily. I see this place of peace is something to create and use not as an escape from your life, but as a life-preserver.

The Joy Diet

The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for A Happier Life

What a funny name for a book huh?
But after you think about it for a while it starts to make sense, feeding oneself a constant stream of joy would be quite nourishing and sustaining as opposed to the alternative of negativity.


I'm going to be reading this book with The Next Chapter book blogging group over the next 10 weeks. You can still sign up if you're interested in participating! So hopefully every Friday I'll be posting about the chapter we are working on.
I always enjoyed the author Martha Beck's column in Oprah magazine, she seemed to have a great way of getting through to people where they are and helping them see how to get to where they want to be.
The first chapter's subject is: NOTHING. Which I think will probably be one of the most challenging subjects in the whole book. Doing nothing is really hard work and I'm not terribly good at it. But I think I'm up for working on nothing and look forward to seeing what the book offers as far as getting to nothing and remaining with nothing for 15 minutes a day...